>Do you control your feelings and your destiny?

In destiny, the secret, your soul on August 18, 2008 at 8:38 am

>Mmmmmm.  If you had asked me that question even 5 days ago, I would have answered (rather smugly too, I think), well, of course!  Back to mmmmm.  This week at work and in the recording studio, was extremely revealing to me about my personal pysche.  My feelings and moods are clearly and totally influenced by the comments and events that take place around me and about me.  I am not in control of my feelings at all and I am not choosing how I feel!  What?!!@!?  I mean, I do have a backbone and very strong opinions and very strong ideas and…blah, blah, blah.  Maybe sometimes I do.  This week, I did not.  Many other times, I have not.  And, it has  injured my soul.  My actual living, breathing, vibrant,  beautiful soul.  That internal piece of me that is such a precious gift from God that no one has the right to get near, unless I allow them to-and apparently I offered up my soul on a silver platter for viewing and commentary and judgement.  I have been doing this sort of thing more and more and let me tell you, it ain’t workin’.   What am I doing?  Is this living?  Is this the example I want to set for my son?  Why am I not doing what I am supposed to be doing?  Why am I not believing in myself?  Fear?  Fear of what?  That I will be judged or found out?  Its already happening because I am allowing it!  So, why not do what I love-do what is my destiny-singing and performing and writing and know that the money and responsibilities will be met.   Is that the key?  Simply an innate knowing and believing that it will work out?  That is what “The Secret” says to do.  Do what you are supposed to do and the rest will work itself out.  I remember a time in my life when it seemed easy to think that way.  Now, with a husband and a baby and a mortgage, it seems so much harder to do that.  Other people are relying on me. Other people are counting on me.   And that’s what makes this so important!  I must do what I am destined to do so that I can take care of my family both financially and spiritually.  Have I hit on the answer?  I believe I have. Mmmmm. 

  1. >Oh, I am SO feeling you! So to speak… Emotions are NOT under our control, they come and go with their own timing and agenda. The problem is what to DO with them. I do believe they have something to tell us…they are always pointing toward something…although I'm not certain the brain always figures out just WHAT that somethign is correctly. Do what you love…and do what seems wise and pragmatic when a child and a mortgage are depending on you. It does not have to be black and white, all or nothing, sell your soul for security versus be free and live on love! I struggle with the same thing, because I am attached to security (illusory as it is) and others depend on me. So I'm working on always keeping my passions in sight, moving toward them while I also get up and go to work every day. Trusting is the hard part. But noticing, every day, how things ARE working out, how the world IS supporting you, is a crucial ingredient. See David Whyte's poem below:

  2. >I feel you girl! (so to speak) I know I have no control over my feelings, well I certain control how I express them (most of the time), no control over what they are and when they come. That's the beauty of feelings, they are like little messengers from the deeper psyche. And although my brain tries to figure out WHY I am feeling any particular thing, it is not always right. The feelings are always pointing toward something, but it can be a bit of a myster what the real root is. I am wholeheartedly subsrcibing to the belief that you should do what makes you feel good, strong, happy, capable, and joyful. This is essential. However, it dose not have to be all or nothing. I am very attached to security (like paying my mortgate, health benefits, etc.) even though there is no guarantee they will keep me safe. And when others depend on you, you have to be reasonable. So I try to keep what I love in view at all times, and moving toward it regularly, even while I continue to get up and go to work every day. Another thing, notice every day how things ARE working out, how the universe is supporting you and your loves. YOu can call this gratitude, but it requires paying atttention to the small things. See David Whyte's poem below–it is a lovely statement of this:

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